In my previous posts I looked at the importance of building an inner circle, and of keeping close to you people who not only inspire you, but who hold you to a higher standard than you would otherwise do if they weren’t there to push you. Here I’ll offer my advice on how to build your inner circle.
- Immediately Cut Ties with Toxic People
Toxic people are constantly negative and skeptical. They criticize others to conceal their own fear and justify their lack of accomplishment. They gossip and meddle in other people’s business. They spend their time on cheap entertainment.
Your life is far too valuable to be dragged down by such people. If you have any friends like this, stop spending time with them. You have far better things to do with your time. Password-protect your brain and don’t allow others to pollute it. One of the biggest costs to wealth is toxic people. One toxic person can counteract the advantages of ten amazing relationships.
- Build Strong and Deep Relationships with a Vital Few
Find people who have the qualities listed above and do everything you can to get close to them.
It’s often said that your net worth and income will never be greater than the average of those of the five people with whom you spend the most time, and I really believe this is true. Befriend people who are more successful than you and who stretch you, rather than those who allow you to stay comfortable where you are. Find the dreamers and the doers. Associate with them as much as possible and learn from them.
“Be careful the environment you choose for it will shape you; be careful the friends you choose for you will become like them,” said businessman, philanthropist and author W. Clement Stone.
- Create a Formal Mastermind Group
In his fantastic book, Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill teaches “The Mastermind Principle,” which he defines as “an alliance of two or more minds working in perfect harmony for the attainment of a common definite objective.”
A formal mastermind group meets on a regular basis to help each other overcome challenges and achieve goals.
- Get a Formal Mentor
One of the fastest and simplest ways to achieve a financial goal is to learn from those who have already gone where you want to go. Mentors know the path you want to tread. They know the pitfalls and dangers. They see your blind spots and weaknesses, as well as your strengths. You are the result of every decision you have made in your life. Without a mentor, your very best thinking has got you exactly where you are today.
No aspiring 5 Day Weekender should be without at least one formal mentor. Search diligently for the right one for you. Don’t hesitate to reach out to them. Find ways to create value for them. Meet with them regularly to ask advice on your challenges and to get new insights. Never waste their time—heed their advice religiously.
- Be the Friend You Want to Have
Ultimately, the best way to find the right friends is to be the right friend. We attract not what we want, but rather what we are.
Be all the things you look for in a friend who can take you to the next level. Never rest on your laurels. Always have goals written down and never stop striving to achieve them. Conquer your fears. Be positive and supportive. Never tear people down, but always seek to build others up.
As you do so, you will find it easy to build your trusted inner circle with the right people.
Create Your “Life Board”
Everyone’s familiar with a “vision board.” Few people, however, have consciously created a “life board”—your personal board of directors who help you steer your life, conquer your obstacles, and achieve your goals. In many ways, this is more important than a vision board.
When you spend your time with the right people, your life is automatically elevated. Here’s a social ratio I suggest of how to spend your time:
- Spend 20% of your time mentoring others. This facilitates the reinforcement of knowledge and the understanding of it. Educating others feeds my heart. That is what is most emotionally profitable for me.
- Spend 30% of your time with friends and family on the same wave frequency.
- Spend 50% of your time with people who are more experienced, knowledgeable, and successful than you. They are years ahead of you, possibly even decades. They can inspire you to grow, adapt and scale up your business and ideas. They can provide you with the formula to developing a business that supports your lifestyle as opposed to a lifestyle that supports your business
- If you want to continue pushing yourself to the next level, you must surround yourself with people who have a deep domain expertise and are playing at a higher level than you. Be in the orbit of individuals transmitting the highest frequency of wisdom. This is in contrast to those who blindly operate on 50/50/0 social ratio, devoid of any illuminating inspiration, experience and wisdom.
Building your inner circle is less about expanding your relationships and more about tightening and deepening them. Quality matters in this case fare more than quantity.
Creating a tight and valuable inner circle won’t guarantee your success, but I can guarantee you won’t succeed without it.
“A leader’s potential is determined by those closest to him,” said John Maxwell.
In my next post, I look at how you can go about – and should go about – developing good habits. In the meantime, I’d love to hear from you – are you a mentor, or do you benefit from being mentored? What was your experience? Thank you for sharing.
Secure your copy of the “5 Day Weekend” book. 5 Day Weekend: Freedom to Make Your Life and Work Rich with Purpose [Nik Halik & Garrett Gunderson]