In my previous post, I introduced the concept of Freedom from Self, and how by being of services to others you create more happiness for you. Here I offer seven suggestions for doing that.
Actively Look for People Who are Struggling
We often gravitate toward selfishness not because that’s our true nature, but because we simply get trapped in the grind of work and daily routines. We don’t see how other people are struggling because we’re just not looking.
Be more conscious about seeing the pain felt and challenges experienced by others. In simply seeing them, you will be much more likely to act.
Travel More
A simple and extremely effective way to get outside your own bubble is to travel. Go see how other people live. Don’t just watch it on TV—experience it for yourself. Changing your environment is a great way to change your perspective, and therefore your behavior.
Traverse the planet, jettison your comfort zone and immerse yourselves in exotic cultures and cuisines. The more you travel the richer you become. As a teenager, traveling became a new part of my reality and I’ve developed many valuable lessons along the way. You never return the way you left.
Volunteer
Volunteer at a local homeless shelter. Become a Big Brother or Big Sister. Help with a charitable fundraiser. Make it a habitual part of your life.
Americans who describe themselves as “very happy” volunteer an average of 5.8 hours per month. In contrast, those who are “unhappy” volunteer just 0.6 hours per month.
Donate to Charity
Numerous studies have shown that giving money to others or to charity will make you much happier than spending on yourself.
Consider a challenge: Think of the next toy you really want to buy. Once you’ve saved the money for it, donate that money to charity instead and see how you feel.
“He who lives only to benefit himself confers on the world a benefit when he dies,” wrote early Christian author Tertullian.
Tithe
Tithing is taught in religion as giving 10% of your income to God. But you don’t need to be religious to benefit from the principle: Americans who donate more than 10% of their incomes report lower depression rates than those who do not (41% say they rarely or never experience depression versus 32% for everyone else.)
Tithing is a simple and formal way to make charitable giving a habit. If you don’t go to church, tithe to your favorite charity instead.
Choose a Cause to Support, or Start Your Own Charitable Foundation
Instead of just giving randomly, consider finding a cause that can become a lifelong passion for you. For example, promoting cancer research, funding an orphanage, saving children from sex trafficking, or helping villages in developing countries get clean water. What speaks to your heart? Where do you really want to make a difference?
As the great Russian writer Leo Tolstoy wrote, “Joy can only be real if people look upon their life as a service and have a definite object in life outside themselves and their personal happiness.”
Give Meaningful Gifts to Family and Friends
This doesn’t just include material gifts; it can also mean giving time or simply just taking the time to listen. Americans who are very giving in relationships—being emotionally available and hospitable—are much more likely to be in excellent health (48%) than those who are not (31%).17 Tuning into the needs of others around you is a simple antidote to selfishness.
Don’t Just Make a Living—Make a Life
Building businesses, making money, and having adventures are all important, fun, and rewarding. But ultimately, as research shows, the greatest meaning and fulfillment in life are found in what we contribute to others.
To sum up, “We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give,” said Winston Churchill.
In my next post, I will look at how you can energize yourself to power through your journey. In the meantime, I’d love to hear your thoughts on giving back and finding peace – what do you do to free yourself from yourself? Thank you for sharing.
Secure your copy of the “5 Day Weekend” book. 5 Day Weekend: Freedom to Make Your Life and Work Rich with Purpose [Nik Halik & Garrett Gunderson]
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